Wednesday, 12 February 2014

The second child

I've often wondered about people who have more than one child.  Except for those with twins, triplets or morelets - I guess they had little choice in the offspring number game.  No, I mean people who have a baby and then another.  They go through the trauma of childbirth (I'm assured that men can reproduce the pain of this by grabbing their bottom lip and dragging it over the top of their head to the back of their neck) and are then presented with a frankly useless, mewling, bottomless moneypit of a creature.  I used to look forward to being on call!  If it all goes as well as it can then by about 4 months you've managed to get some sort of routine going which allows you to get something resembling a night's sleep but you can kiss goodbye to going to the pub, pretty much anywhere of an evening and everything you used to associate with fun in your former life.

And then - a year or two later - they do it again!  Just as things were beginning to resemble normality!  Even weirder are those who wait 8-9 years before doing it again.  I've noticed a similar phenomenon amongst people I'm proposing unpleasant medical investigations for - if you say it's in the next few weeks they pull a funny face and suddenly decide the symptoms they've had aren't so bad after all but if you say it's in 2 years they say fine! No problem!

My conclusion - if something is sufficiently far removed in time from your current position,  either forwards or backwards, you are able to block out all the unpleasant things associated with it.  You forget how awful it is to have a baby.  You don't worry about the unpleasant test because it's not for a while yet.

You happily agree to run a half marathon in 18 months.

Only now it's just over 6 months.


Now it gets real - the registration is in.  The charity website is up and running (Yorkshire Cancer Research - like normal cancer research only better).  It's happening ladies and gentleman.  The fat lad gets fit from now on.

SO, Fat Run version 3.0
Weight:134kg (I know!)
Distance run last week:precisely nil (unless you count the mad dash to the station to get to London on Friday so I could visit Marco Pierre White's Steakhouse)
Current confidence level:High (it's still over half a year away)

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