The second child

I've often wondered about people who have more than one child.  Except for those with twins, triplets or morelets - I guess they had little choice in the offspring number game.  No, I mean people who have a baby and then another.  They go through the trauma of childbirth (I'm assured that men can reproduce the pain of this by grabbing their bottom lip and dragging it over the top of their head to the back of their neck) and are then presented with a frankly useless, mewling, bottomless moneypit of a creature.  I used to look forward to being on call!  If it all goes as well as it can then by about 4 months you've managed to get some sort of routine going which allows you to get something resembling a night's sleep but you can kiss goodbye to going to the pub, pretty much anywhere of an evening and everything you used to associate with fun in your former life.

And then - a year or two later - they do it again!  Just as things were beginning to resemble normality!  Even weirder are those who wait 8-9 years before doing it again.  I've noticed a similar phenomenon amongst people I'm proposing unpleasant medical investigations for - if you say it's in the next few weeks they pull a funny face and suddenly decide the symptoms they've had aren't so bad after all but if you say it's in 2 years they say fine! No problem!

My conclusion - if something is sufficiently far removed in time from your current position,  either forwards or backwards, you are able to block out all the unpleasant things associated with it.  You forget how awful it is to have a baby.  You don't worry about the unpleasant test because it's not for a while yet.

You happily agree to run a half marathon in 18 months.

Only now it's just over 6 months.

Bugger.

Now it gets real - the registration is in.  The charity website is up and running (Yorkshire Cancer Research - like normal cancer research only better).  It's happening ladies and gentleman.  The fat lad gets fit from now on.

SO, Fat Run version 3.0
Weight:134kg (I know!)
Distance run last week:precisely nil (unless you count the mad dash to the station to get to London on Friday so I could visit Marco Pierre White's Steakhouse)
Current confidence level:High (it's still over half a year away)

Please visit JustGiving to donate

or text LUMP99 £X to 70070 (where X is the huge number of pounds you wish to donate)

Thank you

Can I Get A Rewind?

OK - so the inevitable happened.  No blog posts for a few months does, unfortunately, mean no runs for a few months.  Life has been pretty hectic - planning for a mahoosive barbecue party in August did kind of take over (and a few tins of Cornish Rattler meant that most of the party remains a bit of a haze, although I'm pretty sure I broke my collarbone!).  Two weeks' holiday (cruising the Med) was lovely but unfortunately there was not much chance for running; the ship did have a running track on the top deck but unless you were up at 6am you had to spend most of the run avoiding deck hands mopping the deck, early sunbed reservers and people out in the designated smoking zone (through which the track went).  That said, I did manage two sessions but this I'm afraid represents my only running since the end of July.

As I write this I'm watching the Great North Run which does mean that my target is now officially a year away so I guess I ought to start taking it seriously.  This week is it!

So - to reboot:

Start of Week 2.1 (for computer OS numbering geeks):
Weight: Not telling
Exercise: None for a while
Feet: Still hidden from view!

Viral haemorrhagic fever sucks

It's been a tough week this week. I began to feel a bit achy on Sunday and by bedtime had a raging sore throat and spent most of the night sweating and shaking (steady!). Monday morning felt worse and really shouldn't have gone to work but frankly it's a disaster if I don't!  Managed to take Tuesday off and stay in bed and started to feel a better by Wednesday. Despite my early fears of Ebola virus it seems it was just a cold. I have been coughing up good volumes of sputum however and was quite breathless at times. All-in-all there was no way I could have exercised. A shame really as I was looking forward to seeing how I coped at a slightly lower pace.  I've just spent the weekend on call - really not sure I want to be doing 56 hour shifts of on-call as I get older but the upside is no opportunity for ale which is all good for the weight loss.

So today I've done my first exercise for over a week. I've decided to for it and step up to the next week's programme, the one that was scaring me a fortnight ago. Anyway, despite still having a good chesty cough it seemed to go OK and, most importantly, I got through it without having to give up. Another "fear" conquered, and I've now managed to run for 6 minutes non-stop at 7kph. I reckon this will be my half-marathon pace so am aiming for a time of 3hrs. Just 2hrs 53mins to go!!

Weight-wise it's been a bit of a milestone week as I got down to 127kg, representing a stone of weight loss since this whole thing began. This morning I was 126.5kg!  I've enjoyed watching England limping through to the ICC Champion's Trophy semi-final but I fear South Africa or India will prove a bridge too far!

So, end of week I've lost count
0km run
126.5kg (over a stone down)
Don't know when I'm going to get all the work I need to get done done over the next few days. Probably shouldn't be writing blog entries!

Making your mind up....

It's been a good learning week this week.  As you may or may not know I'm repeating a week from the programme, having the found the previous week too hard.  Today I decided to do my run outside rather than on the treadmill.  It has been an interesting experience - obviously I'm tracking the run with some smartphone software.  Although the time has been the same I've actually covered an extra 0.5k compared with the treadmill programme - turns out I run slower and walk faster.  I was running at a pace that felt comfortable today, one I think I could run a half marathon at and it turns out it's 7kph, not the 8kph I've been trying to do on the treadmill.  This would work out at a 3hr time for the half-marathon which I'd actually be really pleased at.  Two lessons - run outside wherever possible; run at 7kph on the treadmill.

Have also enjoyed the random iPod today - highlight was probably Sabbath Bloody Sabbath (Live) - poor old Ozzy; still sounds good but can't quite hit those high notes any more!  Have also been enjoying Fisherman's Blues by The Waterboys, an album I can recommend to anyone.

Spent the weekend clearing out the garage and have managed to fill an entire skip; there's so much space in the garage now I reckon you could get a car in it!  Weather seems to be trying to improve so it's all looking up.

So here it is - end of week whatever!
Weight 127.5kg (over a stone lighter than on New Year's Day 2012)
Ran 7.25km
Drank some beer and champagne
Planning on more outside running!

It seems like years since it's been here

If all goes exactly according to schedule I'll be up to half-marathon distance sometime in October.  This presents both a challenge and an opportunity with the Great North Run being in September 2014, almost a year later.  The challenge will be to maintain my level of fitness through that year; something I plan to do by repeating the training programmes with increasing gradient levels on the treadmill.  The opportunity is the ability to be flexible with the programme - repeating weeks I find difficult rather than pushing myself pointlessly on to targets I'll be unable to reach.  I've already exploited this by repeating the week I should've done in Spain (I did do some running there, as I believe I may already have mentioned; just not enough) but this week it came in very handy.  I felt as though I'd finally hit the limit.  This week's scheme was three workouts, each alternating 3 minute and 90 second runs with 2 minutes of walking.  I have now stepped up the pace to 8kph which I realise is pretty pedestrian to any proper runners out there but, as I keep harping on about - fat, unfit, little legs etc.  This is proving a significantly sterner challenge than 6kph (although I was a bit alarmed during my road runs in Spain to learn that my walking pace is faster than my running pace).  Anyway, for the first time I really struggled with my breathing (again, as mentioned before) so decided to repeat the week this week.  Just did the first workout again today and I'm delighted to report that it did actually feel easier.  Managed the whole thing without breaking my breathing rhythm - I think when you do start to get properly breathless and have to drop your rhythm to start gasping, a certain amount of panic sets in and you end up defeating yourself mentally.

The wife did the Woodhall Spa 10K this Sunday in a rather impressive time of 59:32; she ran all the way and actually found it pretty easy, certainly more so than the Lincoln 10K earlier in the year.  I'll be hoping to emulate the feat (although perhaps in not quite so sporting a time) later in the year, perhaps the Great Yorkshire 10K in Sheffield in September?  The winner of the race by the way did it in 32:14. Not human.

In other news, there's a great yellow orb hanging in the cerulean blue sky outside radiating heat and light upon me.  I've no idea what it is and don't recall seeing anything like it for many a year - I'll keep you up to date.

End of Phase Two, Week Three (about to be repeated):

Ran/walked 6.75K total
Still weigh around 128kg - maybe the fat's turning into muscle?
Shin pains seem better with new shoes
Cardiovascular fitness appears to be picking up

Before you judge a man

Slight blog delay this week; slight run delay too.  A bit too much festivity at the weekend, coupled with a Bank Holiday monday has meant a bit of lay-off from the 'mill.  As ever, there were consequences - a slight step up in runtime today has been extremely hard to cope with.  I almost had to give up at one point, breath coming in ragged gasps through a sandpaper windpipe, but did eventually manage to run at 8kph for an entire 3 minutes non-stop!  That wasn't the whole routine before you scoff; just a split.

Finally got round to my gait analysis this weekend.  A visit to my step-brother's gym in Harrogate led to an introduction to the local sport shop - they got me on a treadmill and videoed me walking and running.  There was a slight mishap at one point as the belt slipped and I nearly came a cropper but we did get some useful footage.  It's really quite alarming - my ankles bulge inwards to a degree that looks as though my leg's about to snap off.  Apparently there's only one shoe for me (a Brooks Adrenaline GTS 13 if you're interested).  With shoe fitted (a bloody size 13) I was retaped with impressive results - leg came down straight with much less stress on the ankle.  They do take a bit of getting used to; lot's of medial support made my balance feel a but dodgy on the 'mill today.  The result is worth it though - no shin pains at all today.  Just the rough breathing!  If you're seriously considering any sort of significant running I can't recommend it enough - most places who do it do it free (or with a small charge which is then deducted from your shoe purchase).

The weekend was a success - Saturday doing a restaurant crawl in Harrogate and a bit of a Leo on Saturday to celebrate a birthday (Happy Birthday Kirsten).  Unfortunately it was topped off by us ordering £40 of Domino's Pizza between three of us!  Unsurprisingly the old weight seems determinedly stuck at around 130kg.  England's cricket team seems to be rediscovering its mojo, largely down to Yorkshire (when Yorkshire're strong etc. etc.) and the Mumbai Indians romped home in the IPL to win me a tenner.  Get in.  Also managed a barbecue on Monday - grilled seabass stuffed with coriander, lime, nam pla and coconut. Mmmmm.....

I'll be watching the Woodhall Spa 10K at the weekend (running's 90% mental you know) and may even enter a 10K before the year is out so watch this space!

Apologies for no stats recently; will resume them next week, perhaps with a calorie count!

PS Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes.  That way, when you judge him you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

The man with no name

OK - it's done.  A week in Spain.  Managed a couple of runs alongside a canal through a golf course (I think it's part of the irrigation system) which was a hell of lot more picturesque than my gym!  Learned a couple of things though:

1) Running on roads is actually a lot easier than on the treadmill.  I've always presumed, and been told, the opposite (and hinted as much in earlier blogs) and I'm sure the fact that I was running on dead flat concrete helped but it was so much easier.  There was none of the time dilation I've previously bored you with and the pace I did (measured by GPS on one of the many running tracker apps available) was actually faster than that I do on the treadmill whilst feeling easier

2) Running through Spain on a bright hot day listening to Ennio Morricone is quite cool

As I feared I've regained a little bit of porkiness but I did have a damned fine holiday.  Good sustained periods of sunshine, daytime temperatures of around 25C and wandering out of a night in shorts and T-shirt for beer and food.  If you're in the area around La Manga del Mar Menor in spain (between Cartagena and Alicante) I can recommend a place called La Catedral in Cartagena behind the roman ruins, Escuela de Pieter at the end of La Manga (a little sandbar protruding about 22km into the Med) which is on the beach and a really rather nice place to spend the day and Meson del Prado in San Miguel de las Salinas which does a Menu del Dia including wine for 9€ a head.  Restaurante Rebate is also pretty good.  As I write this the reason for my slight weight blip is rapidly becoming clear!

Done another session on the treadmill today and it felt hard.  Really hard.  For the first time I started to get significantly out of breath and on a couple of occasions almost had to give up.  However I completed the session as planned (a 4.5km run/walk) and probably lost about a pound of sweat.  It was only when I finished and switched the treadmill off did I notice the servos spin up as the deck settled down to level - I'd done the whole thing at a 1 degree incline without noticing.  Now that 1 degree may not sound like much but, as I now speak from experience, it bloody well is!

So - at the end of phase two, week two:
Two runs whilst on holiday in Spain
Pretended to be Clint Eastwood (a bit)
Weight: Not telling!
Culinary highlight : Prawn and seaweed salad at La Catedral and ice cold draft Cruzcampo; rather a lot of